Look what's happened to me! A Great Dane attacked me for no reason. 523,4589 and probably more, stitches I needed, I haven't finished counting! Auntie Sarah can tell you the full story.
So I was in hospital when auntie Els got back from Dallas. And more! I couldn't go to Brighton for Keir's naming ceremony. In fact I would have been the perfect prop for auntie Els' poem she read out. Ironic really.
One evening John came home from work
went into the kitchen to make himself a nice cup of tea
and on the kitchen table, in a plastic bag,
he discovered a large sliced loaf
with one of the crusts missing.
Actually it was a very large sliced loaf,
about the size of a rabbit hutch,
and John, who lived very much alone,
knew that he hadn't put it there and wondered who had.
Just then there was a rap-a-tap-tap at the front door.
It was John's new next-door-neighbour.
"Excuse me barging in", she said ,
"but you haven't seen my dog have you?".
"What does it look like?", inquired John concernedly.
"Like a large sliced loaf", replied the neighbour.
"With one of the crusts missing?", asked John.
"Yes", replied the neighbour, "she had a fight".
John smiled, went out into the kitchen,
and returned with the mysterious loaf.
"Is this her by any chance?" he asked.
And the neighbour said,
"No". (John Hegley)
went into the kitchen to make himself a nice cup of tea
and on the kitchen table, in a plastic bag,
he discovered a large sliced loaf
with one of the crusts missing.
Actually it was a very large sliced loaf,
about the size of a rabbit hutch,
and John, who lived very much alone,
knew that he hadn't put it there and wondered who had.
Just then there was a rap-a-tap-tap at the front door.
It was John's new next-door-neighbour.
"Excuse me barging in", she said ,
"but you haven't seen my dog have you?".
"What does it look like?", inquired John concernedly.
"Like a large sliced loaf", replied the neighbour.
"With one of the crusts missing?", asked John.
"Yes", replied the neighbour, "she had a fight".
John smiled, went out into the kitchen,
and returned with the mysterious loaf.
"Is this her by any chance?" he asked.
And the neighbour said,
"No". (John Hegley)
